I agree. Apart from the openly hateful stuff (which there is, yes), I think a lot of people are using shorthands that are actually inaccurate enough to hurt the discussion--the thing of us vs them comes to mind.

And I agree that anyone can read and write what they like. I totally respect their choices. I mean, I'm not in any kind of defensible position. Possibly my writing has lots of issues (not possibly, really, I know it has).

I think this discussion has the same problem with framing as the slash is appropriative discussion had. It's not a matter of actually controlling what people write or read--it's a matter of talking about it, and pointing out what of those things are possibly problematic. The problem is that from all sides (given that there's never only two) there's some confusion about it, and a lot of anger. And possibly a need to make this discussion an simple one. Like, 'slash is problematic because of x', and go home. When that sentence is riddled with shorthands (what slash? what problems? how does x affects it? &c).

But I've also been seeing a lot of people who just don't want other people to be having these kind of discussions around them--and well, that's bullocks, too.